My favorite time of the day is when the kids are in bed, and Kate and I are on the couch. The day is done. Everyone is safe, and we can relax and enjoy a good show before bed.

This night was different. I heard a noise on the stair. It was Eve. She was struck with the eternal question, “What happens after we die?”

I know that question. I know the feeling that comes with it. It is an empty feeling. Like grief and dread mixed up. When I get this feeling, it is like I’m looking through my eyes from 5 feet behind me. I’m numb. Everything seems far away and a little too vibrant.

I remember this feeling well. It has been a constant companion of mine for as long as I can remember. I first met it when my great aunt died. It’s not that I was that close to her. She lived with my cousins. She had this tiny room, and she was always in bed. The TV was always on. Those are my only memories of her. In that room. A constant in my young life. Then she died. At her funeral, I cried and cried and cried. Because people die. And I will, too. We are future dead people. That empty feeling came and took up shop in my heart. Tuned my heart strings to a minor chord. Added a melancholy flavor that has ruined my chances of ever being one of the popular kids.

This empty feeling has struck me many times, and my daughter was standing on the stairs of what will be her childhood home asking me the eternal question, and feeling that empty feeling I know so well.

I had to be honest.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe nothing. We came from nothing and that wasn’t so bad. I used to be afraid that there’s nothing, but we all came from there, and it wasn’t scary. But I think there’s something. I have pretty good evidence as to why. In all my years of living though, I know this one thing. It’s always worse at night. Let’s talk about this in the morning.”

We hugged. She went upstairs. We both slept that night and spoke about it the next day.

I bring this up because of the gifts given by the magi in today’s text. These foreign astrologers or kings or… whoever they were… they weren’t from around here that’s for sure… They came in and asked after a new king. They gave three gifts, which is why we have come to think that there were three of them, even though the text doesn’t give a number.

Gold. Frankincense. Myrrh.

These gifts have taken up the theological symbols of death. Gold, fit for a king. Frankincense, used in incense to symbolize a deity and to burn when  anointing a dead body. Myrrh, an embalming oil for the dead. Jesus is king. And he died. Well, in certain circles that’s all you need to know about Jesus. In some churches, that’s the extent of your theological knowledge.

Do you know about Jesus? He died for your sins. Want to get out of hell? Jesus died for your sins. Want a new life? Jesus died for your sins. Want to join our club? Just say, “Jesus died for my sins.”

Jesus could have been my great aunt, my first brush with mortality. He could have been born, sat in a tiny room all his life and died. That’s all that’s needed in some theological circles.

I think there’s more. We could look at the gifts the magi brought in a different light. For example….  Gold could be viewed as a symbol that his teachings are gold. Jesus’ most famous teaching is literally called “The Golden Rule.” Love God with everything you have. Love your neighbor as yourself. He said that often in his wild and wonderful life. He traveled all around his country, telling stories and teaching people from every stripe, race, clan, and other labels. Even THOSE people. You know, the ones who really shock us when mentioned in polite company. You might not think you have a list, but it’s the group of people that causes a knee-jerk reaction when someone says that God loves and forgives even them.

I learned in my trip to Egypt that frankincense was used as the famous eyeliner that the Egyptians wore back in the time of the pharaohs. Maybe the magi gave that gift because his life would make us see things in a new way. And once we see, we can’t unsee. Once we hear, we can’t unhear. Once we learn about God’s love for all people, we can’t help but extend it to even our enemies.

And myrrh wasn’t just an embalming oil. It was also an essential oil. Used to heal all sorts of maladies, including acne as it was used as a facial scrub.[1] Maybe the magi gave this gift because they knew that a big part of Jesus’ ministry would be to heal people. Heal their bodies. Heal the wounds they inflict on their neighbor, but most often themselves. Heal our relationship with God, whom we thought only saw our sin and not our value.

Maybe the magi wanted to point to something more than just this child’s death. Maybe they wanted us to know something more about Jesus than that he was born to die. Aren’t we all? Aren’t we all born to die? Jesus died. Big deal. Everyone does that. From the kings to the paupers. The genius and the idiot. Everyone has that in common.

Yet Jesus lived. And his life changed everything. We noticed things we never did before: sparrows and lilies of the field and wayward little brothers. How these things pointed to a loving God. Jesus taught using these ordinary things.

He taught us not to fear death. He prayed that the cup would pass, but he accepted it. In all its humiliation. He proved that death doesn’t have the final word.

I told all of this to Eve the next morning, and I now give the sermon again to you, church. For if it’s worth preaching once, it’s worth preaching again. How life is for living. How our relationships are worth more than gold. How what we gain from one another is amazing. How each beloved person God brings into our lives adds a fragrance and heals a little part we didn’t know was wounded or withering in our soul.

Each of the names we listed today represents a beloved child of God. Their grammar has changed. We refer to them in the past tense now. Each lived a life that added something to the world. Love. Knowledge. Wisdom. Smiles. They died. Like everyone. Yet they lived like no one else, no matter how long their life was! And their death does not alter the grammar that they ARE a beloved child of God.

There were times in their lives they were fully present for. The birth of a child. A marriage. The loss of a child. A divorce. The death of a loved one. The kindness of a stranger. The miracle of when a stranger becomes a friend, and a friend becomes family.

How light plays on the water or through the leaves. The first warm day after a hard winter. The quiet glory of falling snow and how winter quiets the echo of living. The glory of a forest in its full autumn glory. How a good line in a book can open up something within us. How a good story can unite us and make us feel things we didn’t have words for.

I think the gifts of the magi point us to that. Good gifts often do that. Just as Eve’s question pointed me to the truth of living. It’s always worse at night though, so we spoke about these things the next day. It’s good to talk about the finality of death in the full light of day. A reminder of the light of Christ which came to us at Christmas lit up the gloom and showed that death had been defeated and has become a friend.

A friend that takes our loved ones, our pets, and our houseplants. And we don’t know what lies beyond death’s embrace. Something, I think. I have it on good authority. I have sat at the bedside of so many dying people. I have done half a hundred funerals and each and every time the final word has not been death but life. It wasn’t the loss but love. Love gets the final word.

We are born to die. But more than that we are meant to live. Jesus showed us that path. We are meant to live. And what adventure awaits us after this one is over, I haven’t a clue. But I have it on good authority that we enter into the fullness of love. The love of our creator, sustainer and redeemer and all who have ever been Christ to us, and we to them. That’s about all I can say. These mysteries are too great for me.

I don’t know much. I do know this about our life ahead in this new year, as inspired by friend the Rev. Rob Leveridge[2]:

You will be given things you don’t deserve.
You will be denied things you’ve earned.
You will be excluded, sometimes by the very people who should know better.
You will be welcomed extravagantly by others who will surprise you.
You will have to speak for what is right while others remain silent.
You will have to work for what is right while others run away.
You will make mistakes.
You will hurt others.
You will be hurt by others.
You will repeat the wrongs you have been trying to correct all of your life.
You will feel that great empty feeling.
You will be witness to moments of unspeakable beauty.
You will hope against all logic, and you will be rewarded for it.
You will do the impossible.
You will find love.
You will have enough to share.
You will lose friends and family to death.
You will deeply grieve their death.
You will find their love never left you and lives on within you.
You will discover that love is never, ever wasted. Not a single nanosecond. Not ever.
You will find that love returned to you ten-fold.

And the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God and the communion of the Holy Spirit will be with you, always.

Works Cited

[1] In all my research on frankincense and myrrh, this article is the most readable and comprehensive: https://www.history.com/news/a-wise-mans-cure-frankincense-and-myrrh

[2] Facebook post from The Table on 12/31/2017