“Even the unforgiven hurts, bitter resentments, and hard feelings that weigh you down have stories to tell you, wisdom to offer. Your job is to feel the feelings, learn the lessons, and let the heaviness go.”

Rev. Dr. Jacqui Lewis

            We do not know who the author was of the three letters of John in our New Testament. Nor do we know exactly who they’re written to, unlike the letters of Paul that were addressed to churches. They are named 1^st, 2^nd, and 3^rd John mainly because they share a lot of themes and vocabulary with John’s gospel. For example, in chapter one the writer says, “God is light and in him there is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:5) just like the Gospel of John begins with talking about light, and calls Jesus the light of the world. So, scholars think it’s safe to assume these epistles came from at least the same school of thought that John was a part of.

            The epistle we read from is more of a sermon than it is a letter, and it is a sermon about following God’s commandments. Not so much the ten commandments, but the two commandments most important to Jesus: to love God, which 1 John connects with believing in his son Jesus, and to love our neighbor, or as 1 John says, our brothers and our sisters. It’s a sermon that’s full of great quotes. In chapter 2 they say, “Beloved, I am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you have had from the beginning… Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light.” (1 John 2:7) In chapter 3 they say, “Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action,” (1 John 3:18) That’s one I think we need to get made into t-shirts. Love is not just about words it has to be in your actions too! Then in chapter 4 there’s one of my favorites, “God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.” (1 John 4:16) I always recommend that one for weddings, and when people wonder why I talk about love so much. The writer’s point is that if we have faith in Christ, we should follow his commandments, and if you claim to love God, but do not love your neighbor, you are not following those commandments.

            Now, our third step towards Fierce love, from Fierce Love by Rev. Dr. Jacqui Lewis, is to “Travel lightly. Downsize the burdens you carry.” I chose this text to go with our step today because of one line from chapter 5, which says, “His commandments are not burdensome.” It’s no secret that religion has added to many people’s burdens. Whether it is because of a community they were raised in, or the things they were taught to believe, the Bible has been used to pile on some pretty heavy baggage of fear and shame and worse. Rev. Lewis says that she was, “carrying the kind of religious baggage you don’t even know you have until you start getting rid of it,” because as she explains, sometimes when we carry something around for a long time, we get so used to the weight of it that we forget it’s there. But once she started unpacking her baggage, after the years she spent going through a divorce, she says that she found God anew. She got to a point where she could no longer even imagine a God who wanted to punish her for what she had been through.

            Part of why people are walking away from our faith is that it has become too heavy for them. Too full of baggage, and it’s not helping them to lighten their load, but adding to it.  Some of you know this truth really well, and I’m glad you’re here. I’m honored to be here to wrestle with you. I’ve worked through quite a bit of baggage myself. Life can be heavy for us humans, and we have this terrible habit of carrying the worst things with us.

            For example, you might know that in 2020 and 2021 I worked for the OSU’s Wexner Medical Center as a chaplain. I had done an internship the previous year, but suddenly I was there full-time, hearing so many people’s stories, praying with them, and frequently sitting with them through the end of their loved one’s lives. I found out that I couldn’t help taking them with me, nor could I release all of the heavy emotions that were adding up. The heaviness came home with me, and everywhere else with me, until I was breaking down in my car in the mornings before going inside, as I know many people in caregiving professions do. I was determined to stay, but it was eating away at my relationship with God and my spiritual health, and it just kept getting heavier until I turned to an unexpected place for help.

            I had a friend name Marissa, who practiced reiki. I wasn’t super familiar with it, but I trusted her, and I had heard how much it could help people who are stressed to feel better. I asked God to go with me, and one afternoon I went over to her apartment, and I laid on her futon covered in blankets, surrounded by lit candles, and listening to calming music with her little pug named Bella curled up next to me. She held her hands over different parts of my body and talked to me about the energy flowing through me, and the places where it was clogged up. At one point, her hand was over my heart, and she said exactly what I was feeling: “there’s a lot of heaviness here.” When I agreed with her, she asked the question that broke open the floodgates, “Does it belong to you? Or to someone else?”

            Suddenly I was feelings all those feelings, and by feeling them I was able to let them go. That afternoon, she helped me to put down some of the weight I was carrying. I don’t know if it was the reiki or just sharing my burden with a friend, but I left feeling much lighter than I had arrived, and I was ready to make the next steps which ended up being that I stopped being a chaplain and I ended up here!

            Rev. Lewis says that downsizing our burdens means pulling out each brick from our bags, to look them over before deciding whether to put them back in our satchels or not. If we can look at them and pull the wisdom from them, we can leave the bricks behind. As Rev. Lewis says, “Your job is to feel the feelings, learn the lessons, and let the heaviness go.” I do believe that in our pain and sorrow, there is wisdom waiting to be found, and God is the one who helps us to find it. God is the lifter of burdens who gives us rest, and God’s commands are not burdensome. Your relationship with God, should not be a burden, it should lift them. Though we may wrestle with God, God’s yoke is easy and his burden is light. Your faith in God should not make you feel bad, and if it does it might be because someone has misguidedly used the Bible to hurt you.

            If something you’ve been told about God is heavy and weighing on you, you might be able to let it go. If your relationship with God is a burden because of shame, or guilt, or grief, or anger, take those bricks out of your bag, and look them over. You might find some things that you forgot were even there. Take the wisdom and leave the weight. I’m not suggesting that faith is easy, or that we don’t need some challenges in order to grow, but I think our faith should help us to feel lighter, and not heavier. It should set us free, not weigh us down. God’s commandments are not burdensome. God is love.  I encourage you to connect with the divine in a way that leads you to love both God and your neighbor. BOTH God and your neighbor, which might mean learning to love God again for some of us. Finding God anew.

            Maybe it’s reading a new theological perspective or listening to a preacher’s podcast. Pastor Luke and I would love to point you in the direction of someone who can speak to whatever you’re struggling with. Maybe you need to get your thoughts out into a song or onto a page. As Taylor Swift said: “Our tears become holy in the form of ink on a page. Once we have spoken our saddest story, we can be free of it.”[1] Maybe you just need a friend to talk to, or someone to listen. Luke and I are both happy to be that person too, but you can all be that person for each other if you want! There are plenty of people in this room who would be happy to get a drink with you and talk about God for a while. Maybe you need to find God in your neighbor and find hope in doing something with other humans to make the world a better place.

            Whatever you do: cultivate a healthy relationship with God and you will grow a whole new level of fierce love – the love of the one who made the stars of the universe. The love of the light to the world. The love whose light shines through us, for us to share. Love that is the only thing that conquers the world. Beloved, you can find God anew, in all of the places you may have been warned not to look. You can find God anew in deconstructing your beliefs, I say so because I have done it. Find real, transformative healing, and the spiritual practices that help you to lighten your soul. Find people who can help you put your burdens down. And consider that if the things you carry do not help you to love God and love your neighbor, maybe you don’t need to carry them. Feel the feelings, learn the lessons, and let the heaviness go. Amen.

[1] Taylor Swift’s Instagram. Posted on April 19, 2024.