There are events that stand out to us. The kids and I were talking about this after youth group recently. They had come away disappointed. Something felt off to them. Some expectation was unmet.

Maybe you’ve had this as well. You come to church, expecting the rush like you had at Christmas or Easter or that special time that the sermon, or hymn selection, or postlude hit you just right and moved you.

When we don’t get that feeling, when we don’t reach those heights, we walk away disappointed. We feel the need to complain. The fault is with the event, not with us.

Do we ever consider our expectations? Maybe we have set those too high.

Like at youth group. There have been times out on a hike or playing a board game where a special connection is made. Something new and exciting happened. When I show up again, I have that expectation. I didn’t have that expectation the first time. Now I expect something, whether consciously or unconsciously. It’s our expectations that we’re tripping over.

We were not expecting the first encounter at all. It just happened. And it was sort of perfect. Even though, in the moment, we might have been nervous at showing up because we didn’t know what was going to happen or who was going to be there. Maybe we were anxious. Maybe we had a horrible day up until that point but from the haze of nostalgia we forget.

That event was not perfect. We were just as annoyed or troubled or whatever then as we are now. We just didn’t let those get int the way. We didn’t expect things to go a certain way. We didn’t fall prey to perfectionism.

Our society is awash in perfectionism. The Instagram models. The shiny social media folks. Our favorite TV shows, giving us 30 minutes or more where all the troubles are resolved. This aren’t real.

We are so led by image. That’s what Jesus is talking about today. Don’t be fooled by those who want you to see them. Especially those who want you to see them doing good. That’s just surface. That’s not real. Or not as real as the real quiet work of transformation.

Those moments that transformed us; whether they be at youth group or bible study or worship that was exceptionally transformative… or that life event or holiday or dinner out with friends… those were so transformational because we didn’t come expecting. We didn’t lead with perfectionism.

We let the spirit guide us. We were open to one another. We weren’t trying to give off an image. Perfectionism is impossible. We will never live up to the heights of the past. We can find transformation. Or new moments that move us. New places where we find God and our neighbor.

We find those with the quiet moments of being open. No one needs to know. It’d be a weird status update anyway: Hey guys, here in my hidden place practicing being open. Hit me up.

Prayer helps us be open. Being open helps us experience things without the filter of our expectations. With out that filter, we find that this event, that our friends… that ourselves… well… we’re not just good enough. We are rewarded and blessed by the source of life and the creator of the whole universe. We were rewarded.

So whenever you pray, do so in private. Whenever you fast for this season… whether you’re giving something up or adding something like going through the Good Enough devotional book… whatever it is… What you do in secret, God will see, and your reward will be greater than anything you can buy or post on social media. No rust can get at this gift.

It is the gift of existence. A gift with an expiration date. A gift we can miss if we’re looking past it towards an expectation of perfection that causes us to never unwrap what we’ve been given.

As you come forward to receive your ashes to night, may it be a mark for your private journey of being present. Of believing you’re good enough. That things will be good enough and that whatever will unfold will be precisely what you didn’t know you needed.