Walking Away from a Love Story

Where did he go, that rich man who came to Jesus? The Rev. Barbara Lundblad asked that question once in a sermon I heard.[1] It’s a great question. One that never occurred to me.

But Rev. Lundblad is getting ahead of us… we don’t know this man is rich when he first kneels before Jesus and asks, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

It’s an odd question. It’s the “do to inherit” part. Inheritance usually implies a gift: the oldest son inherits from the father simply because he’s the oldest, not because he has done anything. This is just how the world worked back then.

This man runs up, kneels, and asks this question. We have no reason to be suspicious of his motives. We don’t know the guy is rich. He hasn’t come to trap Jesus on some intricate point of doctrine… But there’s something up with this guy. Jesus says that no one is good but God and then moves right to the 10 Commandments before the guy can respond. Yet there’s something in there… Jesus slipped one in there on us. “You shall not defraud.” Did the man hear it?

Maybe Jesus is suggesting that the man got the wealth dishonestly. Maybe he fell prey to what we discussed already in this series: Pharaoh’s Economy or the Canaanite Seduction which involves making money by exploiting others through labor or debt.

“I’ve kept all those commandments since my youth” the man says. Since his bar mitzvah. Since confirmation. I’ve kept ALL. Jesus doesn’t argue with him. Seems like a good guy, this man kneeling in front of Jesus. He had not murdered or stolen or committed adultery. Jesus doesn’t argue.

Where did he go? By the end of the story, this man has disappeared. The man who came running and hoping, “went away grieving for he had great possessions.” This man was shocked. He was hurt. Jesus didn’t challenge the man’s answers, but he didn’t stop there. Jesus went right where the man’s heart was. “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”

You lack one thing. One. Thing. And you can’t buy this. You can’t earn or inherit it. He walked away from a love story because he could not walk away from his money. This is a story about money. But it is also a love story.

Maybe the man was all about trends and fads. He heard about this Jesus guy. He’s all into the self-help genre. He’s read every author on the topic. He’s attended the retreats. He’s done the 9 steps to financial peace and the 5 steps to stop the stress and he’s Marie Kondo’d[2] his whole house and life. Then he goes to Jesus because each of these has helped. He’s a pretty happy guy. He’s followed all the rules and done the things the gurus have told him.

But this Jesus guy is talking about this Kingdom of God, this beloved community. And the man wants it. What must I do to inherit this?! He says it this way because he knows it’s rude to ask a guru, “How much do you want for it?” Or “How many steps does your program have?” He has only heard about Jesus, so he doesn’t know how exactly to ask the question, but I think it has something to do with, “How much does it cost me for you to tell me how to live?”

Pete Rollins addresses what’s wrong with the rich man when talking about “The move from the lack of the secret to the secret of the lack.”[3] We come into the world thinking that somebody somewhere knows the secret of life. They have all their life together. Somebody out there has no stress, knows perfectly who they are, has the perfect family, has it all… and we just lack that secret. If only we had that secret they did. If only we had that money, that outfit, that car, that trip, that Instagram life, whatever it is we lack that others have. But there are contradictions everywhere and in everyone. No one has it all together, no matter what social media or a magazine says. Nothing and no one is perfect. What creates all of the destructive power in life is our running away from the lack. Fleeing from the lack. The secret is to go toward what you lack and explore it and make friends with it and address it and find peace with it.

Let me make it personal… About this time growing up, the toy catalogs would come out for Christmas. I would stare at those things for hours thinking that if I just had ALL the G.I. Joe’s… or HeMan figures… then I’d be really happy. If I just had it, I’d be at peace. But we didn’t have enough money. Yet I had a sneaking suspicion that somebody, somewhere had these things and that’s why they coasted through life. They had the right stuff. In high school, this was centered around the right car or clothes. I lacked the secret to having those things.

Yet in the 10 Commandments, we have “You shall not make for yourselves an idol, nor any image of anything that is in the heavens above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: you shall not bow yourself down to them, nor serve them..”

An idol is a thing we put meaning on and worship. We have many unconscious idols. The ironic thing is that it’s never the stuff we get that brings us happiness. It’s all the intangible things that bring happiness. I know I played with my G.I. Joe’s and HeMan figures, but I don’t have any specific memories of them. I do remember when my friends came over and we had these big battles and played in the woods. Those are the memories that I specifically remember. It turns out… if we worship idols, we miss the real thing. If we place our trust in a dead, material thing, we will always be let down. Yet if we face our lack… and find a community to help hold us and nurture us and love us into being… well, we become alive.

You lack one thing…. You lack the understanding that this life is not about accumulation of stuff or knowledge or property. It’s about love. The love story can get lost in the midst of money. And this is a love story.

“No words are spoken,” says Lundblad, but the storyteller makes it plain. “Jesus looking at the man, loved the man. Jesus did not discount the man’s question or his goodness; Jesus longed for the man to find what he was searching for. Jesus loved him but knew how hard it would be for this good man to rest securely in love. His security still rested in what he owned. He had a love affair with his possessions.”[4]

Where did he go, that rich man?

Where I went was a slow refusal of the rat race. I realized working for that construction company that someone would always have more money than I would. I would never be the top salesman nor did I want to be. What I want to do is hang out with Kate. To tell good stories. To learn patience and the slow rhythms of grace. I’ve been striving and fighting. I’m scrappy and feisty and fierce and this only drives people away when it’s undirected. I’m trying to figure out how to use those traits for good… to better the world… instead of just better myself.

Because happiness comes from when I make others… especially Kate and the kids… smile. It’s not that I lack the secret, it’s that the secret is the lack.

Pete Rollins puts it this way. There once was a rich young lawyer from New York City who went to rural Ireland for a hunting trip. It was a vastly expensive trip he could brag to his friends about and impress clients with. He goes duck hunting and shoots a duck but it lands on the other side of a fence. The other field happens to belong to a farmer Shemas who has seen plenty of guys like this. The rich man goes to climb the fence and Shemas says, “Hey, what are you doing, you can’t come on my land.”

“Well,” says the rich man. “My duck is on your field. And I’m a hot shot lawyer from New York City and I’ll sue you and keep you in litigation until I own your farm.”

“That may be so,” says Shemas. “But here in Ireland, we don’t settle things like that. Here we do the three-kick rule.”

“What’s that?” asks the rich lawyer.

“We take turns giving one another three kicks and whoever gives up gets what they want. If you win, you get the duck. And if I win, you stay off my land. And since I have the bigger claim, I’ll go first”

The lawyer agrees, seeing how Shemas is a slow, weathered old man and he is a young, fit man.

The first kick brings the lawyer to his knees. The second kick doubles him over. And the third kick puts the lawyer flat on the ground. After the lawyer collects himself, he says, “Okay. My turn.”

And Shemus says, “That’s okay, go get your duck.”[5]

How often we suffer all this abuse because we are focusing on the wrong things. We are so focused on getting the THING we want; we miss the people standing right in front of us.

This life isn’t a competition or a game or a rat race… It’s a love story. The rich lawyer thought he’d be happy if he JUST got that duck. Just like the rich young man, if only he GOT the secret from Jesus. He is playing by all the rules! It’s paid off for him thus far, he’s got a ton of stuff… He just lacks one thing. He lacks the understanding that this is a love story. It’s not the love of things, it’s the love of people that saves us. When we turn from our idols, we will find peace and love and all the intangible things that life is really about.

Where did he go, that rich man who came to Jesus? We will never know. But where will WE go?

We have food on the table and shelter over our heads, and we probably don’t consider ourselves rich. Yet the “dream of having more” can capture our hearts and stir our imaginations. It is a temptation during stewardship season to talk about getting more funds, more programs, more people. If only we had a better pastor, stronger committees, if only… When we think like this, we miss what God has gifted us with. We are kicking ourselves, and we lack one thing. It’s not what we lack, it’s how creative we get with our lacks. There will always be a lack. It’s what we do with it, how we make peace with it that matters. It is how we steward our lack that brings peace for what we lack is not THE SECRET, the secret is how we make peace with what we lack.

Works Cited

[1][1] Transforming the Stone, Preaching through resistance to change, pages 106-112.

[2] Marie Kondo has an amazing Netflix series about decluttering your house.

[3] [3] https://www.podbean.com/eu/pb-h73gy-c250ba

[4][4] Page 108

[5][5] From the Holy Shift Tour, 9/28/18 at Cleveland Playhouse Square

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